Saturday, May 19, 2007
GO YOUTH CHRISTIANS!!
sup guys?
lately i've been spiritually down
cause i haven't been going to church recently
and i've completely stopped reading my bible again.
it's like i've closed my connection to God somehow
my cousins are staying with me this summer
and all we did was have go out to watch movies
or go swimming
and 3 days before my birthday
we had a night swimming
to celebrate my bday(too early? hehe)
then my mom told me
"oh wag mo kalimutan pasalamatan si God..."
and that's when i realized that
i've been missing out on God a lot!
I felt sorry for myself(self-pity kmusta ako?)
and started to reflect on the habit i've been having lately
then yesterday i went blog-hopping hehe
and i read doods' post bout the nen-stuffs
and bigla ko napatulala
sabi ko pa "ouch parang yan ako ah"
what made me feel guilty
was that people sometimes forget what great things God has done for them
and we say to ourselves that it's human nature(lahat naman ganyan eh)
so that we convince ourselves that it's ok that we forgot to do something for God
but it's just a lie to make ourselves feel comfortable of what we just did
but what i learned was dat it's gonna bite u in the ass sooner or later and u'll actually feel more depressed
so i told myself that i was gonna go to service this coming saturday to boost up my spirit
so i did go this afternoon to service
i was late again and i felt really guilty this time because i kept telling myself this week that i was gonna go and nothing could stop me but turns out that i was about 30 mins late
how pathetic was that
well
i actually feel relieved in some sort of way that i can't explain
let me tell you what happened today
this morning i was texting with miki cause she's going to her orientation at la salle
and before that, i reminded myself that i was gonna go to service
but the moment she texted me, my concentration was transfixed from one thing to the other
damn talagang tinamaan ako dun sa post ni doods i really need to fix that about me
so i invited my cousin to go with me because i was really nervous what i would do after service,
sabi ko kasi "naku panu pag walang mabuting mangyari sakin. panu kung no effect, panu kung mali ako at marealize ko na transformation type(transformation type ung sabi ni doods) na ko forever
so i was really scared
i even asked my mother in a joke kind of way!
can u imagine how scared i was
when we went inside everybody was already sitted(as i told u earlier, we were late)
and they were almost gonna start the preaching part
i told myself that it was ok, i would still be able to hear this pastor's wise words
i'm very sorry that i forgot what the pstor's name was(ulyanin na lolo nio)
nyway he was talking about God's given identity to you
and how it would lead you to God's given destiny for you
first he asked us to group ourselve to 4 or 5
and ask each other what we wanted to be when we were young and if that changed to something else and what made us want to become what we want to become now
---------share ko sa inyo akin-----------
(di ko nashare knina ksi 2 mins lng well mas mahaba sa 2 mins pero short parin sa time)
when i was in gradeschool about grade 3 or 4
i told myself that i was gonna try my best to become an astronaught(taas dreams)
den that changed cuase i realized what a dangerous profession it was
then i wanted to become a dancer cause sumasayaw ako dati!! haha(doods, patci wag paalala haha)
then when i was in grade 6
my teacher motivated me to want to become a singer!
haha
si ms lucy ba un?
basta my music teacher had this test for us to group in 3 and sing a song
and me and 2 of my friends sang this gary v song and my teacher
complimented my singing and told me i've got a lot of potential in singing
and then i've convicned myself that maybe she heard somebody else from my group when i tried to listen to myself!! hehe hey i'm not that bad! it's just that i think there are lotsof people out better than me and i said to myself "di ko nman gusto kumanta sa kanila nalang yan"
but my grade 6 friends would ask me to sing to them ever since my music teacher praised me of my powerful angelic song!! LoLz
hehe even janine pearl kalinga would want to hear my voice!! we go way back! basta wala aangal!
back to my sharing,
so after that i wanted to be a pilot!
haha
know why?
because alot wanted to become pilots and i've always wanted to travel
then when i was in third year my PA teacher asked us to do advertisements
and assigned me and my partner to make an advertisement via TV commercial
i was actually excited because i can't touch our cam for even a second because it's my sister's most prized possession! hehe
so i asked her to lend it for me for one day and she did! hehe that was easy
now what? haha so at the end my sister was the one who helped us to make a video commercial
when we made a mistake i said "ulit nnaman sa umpisa" then my sister told me "edit nlang natin yan" sabi ko " kaya mo un?" sabi nia "media production course ko! malamang alam ko yun!"
can u imagine how ignorant i was with videos!
so when she was editting the clips i was amazed how well she put together all those crappy clips we've had!
haha
and ever since that day i asked my sister to teach me the basics
well she did teach me the basics! i mean the really basic ones like uploading the vids and cutting them and putting them together! i mean can't u teach me something a little more advanced?
hehe well, can't blame her
cause she's already working and she was trying to adjust for work
so i cant disturb her always
so i've been making home videos most of them are spoof or parody
or just plain random(plain random?)
ok so i took filmmaking (in/at) la salle benilde
and hope that i would become a part of UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!!!
hehe
--------------------------------------------
ok so after the sharing he asked 5 volunteers
and i remembered bout what we've learned about volunteers
and how come we're not able to get the courage to volunteer ourselves
anyway so there was 4boys and 1 girl and he asked for another girl
so first he shared his dreams when he was young
and so did the 6 people hu volunteered
so what he wanted to tell us was that as time pass by
we want to become someone else because we want to be "cool",
cause we want to "belong"
and because we wanted to become what other people are we forget to find who we really are
he said that God has given each and everyone of us a unique identity that's only for us
and that will help us our God given destiny
he said that we do what others are doing so that we belong
but what if those people part ways from us?
who are you now then?
you wouldn't know because you've been trying to be who you aren't
but don't separate yourself from ur friends or try desperately to become their opposite!! hehe
and that was just a brief of what he shared with us
IT WAS REALLY GREAT MAN!!!
and after that preach i told myself "ako yan ah"
or at least the part of the peer influence
well i've tried many things that my friends do but not to the point that i want to become them just small things like blogging haha but i learned to apperciate blogging (THANKS KIM)
ok to my point!
those words that he was sharing with us made me feel really guilty
but it wasn't the same kind of guilt that i've had before
it made me see that i've been listening to all the lies in my head
and i've been falling for it for a long time
but now i've learned that those lies are just lies
and this service gave me a feeling like unfastening a tight seatbelt that's been restraining you and finally being able to feel free,
free to live God
and this reminded me of how great God is and that He is the one who never forgets His identity
Always remember that your identity is to God
Labels: reflection
Bert wrote on 5:46 AM.
